Ways to get Fired from IT Department
So, what are the ways to get fired from an IT Department. Well, here are ten ways to get fired from your contract position that have been used very successfully before. One or more of these could see you succeed in getting fired.
- Produce Inferior Work
- Criticise the Manager
- Don’t test crucial production changes
- Surf the Internet at Lunchtime
- Check Your Share Prices
- Make a fool of yourself at the Christmas Party
- Go behind your boss’s back
- Make derogatory remarks about permanent workers
- Criticise Senior Managers
- Don’t virus check software
1. Produce Inferior Work
Produce work that constantly falls over in Systems Testing and in Production.
2. Criticise the Manager
When the manager give his weekly or monthly talk to the department, make sarcastic comments to those nearest to you about everything he says.
The manager can’t hear you (or so you think).
Even if he can’t, someone will take great delight in telling him.
3. Don’t Test Crucial Production Changes
Under pressure, put an important change into Production untested (it’s only a small change).
During the production run your program falls over again – for exactly the same reason. There is no time for a back-up run.
Systems will be up late in the morning and your boss’s boss will be telling your boss to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. He knows the best way to ensure that.
This is one of the best ways to get fired.
4. Surf the Internet at Lunchtime
Use lunchtimes (and some work time) to look at dodgy tuff on the net.
The Internet is not very secure – especially to the Technical Support department, who are normally the biggest rumour- and gossip-mongers in the whole company.
5. Check Your Share Prices – Ways to Get Fired
Keep checking your share prices on the Internet or on the phone. Make sure that you don’t get away with it by telling the other workers, “I made 5 grand on the Stock Market today”.
6. Make A Fool of Yourself at the Christmas Party
At the Christmas Party, make a play for the boss’s wife, challenge him to a fight, or say that he is no good at his job.
He won’t get rid of you straight away. He’ll just wait for a decent enough time to elapse so that people won’t think he is sacking you for that reason.
7. Go Behind Your Boss’s Back
Go behind your boss’s back to his boss. Slag your boss off for incompetence, giving examples.
The big chief now has to decide whether your boss goes or you – and you’re the hot favourite, especially if you’re a contractor.
The big chief won’t like someone who ‘does the dirty’ on bosses. That’s one of the certain ways to get fired.
8. Make Derogatory Remarks About Permanent workers
If you’re a contractor, refer to the full-time staff as ‘permies’ and make derogatory comments about their abilities.
They have better access to the boss than you have – who are also likely to be ‘permies’.
9. Criticise Senior Managers – Ways to Get Fired
Have a go at one of the senior users on your project (the project sponsor is best) saying that he or she knows nothing about computers or IT, and would be better to leave it to those who do, like yourself and your colleagues.
It’s best to do it when the IT manager is around (just to facilitate the process).
10. Don’t Virus Check Software
10. Bring software into work and don’t bother to virus check it. Eventually one of them will corrupt the whole business.
Better still if it’s dodgy software. If the first nine ideas fail, then this is your banker.
Can you add to the ten ways to get fired from an IT department?
Read also The IT Contractors I Have Seen Sacked.
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