Do you have any workplace problems?
Dr. McLaughlin will be answering problems that emanate from working in an IT department. If you have any workplace related problems that you need fixing please contact Dr. McLaughlin.
First of all we have Michael (not his real name) who seeks our advice.
Michael – I have a young female business analyst in my team who is very good. However, I notice that she breaks into tears quite often at the office. I‘ve talked to one of the other managers, who told me that she had been in a relationship with one of the guys in his team, and that it seems that he has dumped her.
I like to think that my team will tell me their problems so that I can help them sort it out. I like a happy team. However, every time I ask the girl if there is anything wrong that I can help her with, she tells me that there isn‘t.
I‘m thinking of telling her that I know all about her situation. That’s so that she might open up a bit more to me, and I can help her with some advice.
Dr. McLaughlin’s IT Surgery
Keep away from her you old rogue. She‘s not going to ‘open up‘ to you if she‘s smart. Do not offer her a shoulder to cry on. She has already indicated that she doesn‘t want to tell you what the problem is. She‘s not interested in your ‘fatherly advice‘.
Perhaps you were thinking of taking her out to lunch so that she could open up to you. You would be there to help her in her moment of vulnerability. If she‘s doing well at work, tell her so. If she warrants a pay increase or a promotion, now might be the time to do it.
However, it would be a big mistake to tell her that you know all about her humiliating situation. She probably thinks that the only ones who know about it are herself, her ex-boyfriend and a close pal that she might have confided in. If she knows that the whole office, including senior management, know about her snub too, she‘s more likely to punch your shoulder than cry on it.
Leave well alone, except for some extra kindness and understanding, without overdoing it. Also, there are plenty of women your own age that may need your ‘comforting‘ more.
So much for your workplace problems.
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