Clients Complete Idiots – Twenty-one Reasons Why

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Clients Complete Idiots
Clients Complete Idiots

Clients Complete Idiots

A regular reader sent us this article, Clients Complete Idiots.

All of these reasons describe either experiences I have had or adverts I have seen, sometimes slightly exaggerated for dramatic effect.

No Budget Approval

1. They interview you before getting budget approval, and then tell you afterwards that the budget has not been approved.

2. They set technical tests and get their own answers wrong.

3. They ask you what your weaknesses are. Would Tony Blair tell you what his weaknesses are? He was asked a similar question on the BBC Today programme and answered: ‘that‘s for me to know and you to find out.’

4. They give as a reason for rejecting you after interview that you do not have adequate experience in skill X when you admitted prior to interview that you didn‘t.

5. They give as a reason for rejecting you after interview that you do not have adequate experience in skill X when it wasn‘t asked for in the first place.

6. You are a contractor and you have a gap of a few months on your CV and it‘s known that the IT market is in a downturn. They ask what you‘ve been doing? Trying to find work of course!

Filling Job Internally

7. They hold interviews when they know that the job will be filled internally.

8. Human Resources (aka Human Remains) interview you and ask you lots of stupid questions, none of which have any relevance to whether you can do the job.

9. The job is a contract position and they insist on knowing your career aims for the next 20 years.

10. You have 10 years‘ solid IT industry experience, yet they insist on your having a 1st class honours degree from a top 10 university and 3 A‘s at A-Level before they‘ll even look at you.

Honours Degree

11. You have 10 years‘ solid IT industry experience, yet they insist on your having a 1st class honours degree from Oxford, Cambridge or Imperial. So those who graduated from Harvard magna cum laude need not apply then?

12. They ask you to give them an idea on how to proceed with the problem that is forcing them to look for a contractor in the first place. In other words, they want free consultancy as part of the interview. But once they‘ve got the consultancy they hire someone else.

13. They advertise a job that specifies that the candidate must have at least 3 years‘, but no more than 10 years‘, experience in C++. In other words, those aged over 35 need not apply.

14. They insist that you have 2 years‘ commercial experience in a new software technology that has yet to be released.

15. You are rejected because you do not fit the ‘company culture.’ In other words, you are too old.

16. They say you must be able to write bug-free code as a matter of course. So their current software is bug-free then?

Clients Complete Idiots – Technical Test on Phone

17. They get the agency to give you a technical test over the phone. You pass this and they invite you to their offices. They never set eyes on you but they get the agency to set you a written technical test. However, afterwards, you receive no feedback whatsoever, despite numerous attempts at follow-ups.

18. You have an interview on a Tuesday. After the interview they tell you that they have more candidates to see and they won‘t be making a decision until Friday. Wrong! They‘ve already made a decision – that you won‘t be one of the candidates they‘ll choose on Friday. If they want you they‘ll make you an offer within 24 hours, either later that day or the next morning, regardless of whether they‘ve got others to see.

19. They think that if you haven‘t got commercial experience in skill X then you can‘t do it at all.

20. You have been a professional programmer for 10 years, but you don‘t have commercial experience in the latest skill, X. Yet they treat you as though you are a brand new programmer with no commercial experience at all.

21. They ask for a shopping-list of a dozen skills. You are able to land the contract anyway. But after you‘ve completed it you‘ve only had to use one or two skills on the shopping-list.

So, are clients complete idiots?

For more great advice on dealing with clients, click on Dealing With Clients.

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