How to Survive Office Politics
Office Politics is how people react with one another when trying to advance their own prospects — or to kill the chances of others.
If you are to get on at a company you must learn how to survive office politics. You must understand what the office politics are. Understanding your environment is crucial for all creature who prey on others.
Thrive and Survive Office Politics
1. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels! Think nuts!
2. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “”How would the Lone Ranger handle this?””
3. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
4. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.That’s how to survive office politics.
5. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven’t understood the seriousness of the situation.
6. Never do today that which will become someone else‘s responsibility tomorrow.
7. You don’t have to be mad to work here! In fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not.
8. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you’re trying to get them sacked.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
10. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
Learning how to survive office politics is a must for all those who want to get on.
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