Office Boss’s Question for Dr McLaughlin
An office boss asked us this question about his feelings about a trainee programmer who works for him. He asks our advice.
I‘m attracted to this young trainee programmer in work. I‘m in a senior position in the IT Department and I have a family. However, I do think this young girl reciprocates my feelings.
She is flirtatious towards me. She wears very provocative clothing and sometimes brushes against me when we are alone in the meeting room together, when we are drawing data flow diagrams on the whiteboard.
I‘m considering making an approach.
It‘s complicate by the fact that she has a boyfriend in the office who works for me also. What would you suggest?
Should I tell her how I feel?
Dr. McLaughlin’s Advice to Office Boss
Only if you want to be an object of ridicule in the office (if you‘re not already).
People in an office notice anything untoward like this and word of it spreads like wildfire, especially if it is about a middle-aged boss and a ‘provocatively dressed‘ trainee programmer.
The chances are that the boyfriend has noticed something already, as his radar tuning will be the finest.
Let me tell you what the future holds for you if you do.
Office Boss – Mistaken the Signals
I don‘t know whether you have mistaken the signals or you haven‘t. The result will be the same anyway. Even if she has been flirting with you, it is more likely that it is with the purpose of preferment.
You will find that your young friend will tell you that you have mistaken why she has been friendly to you (you have – she wants promotion or a pay rise). As soon as she gets out the room and in a huddle with other girls at the office, she is sure to tell them about it.
She will immediately assume the cloak of the ‘wronged party‘. She’ll tell them that her ‘middle-aged boss came on to her‘ and ask the other girls‘ advice about what to do about it.
Complain to Your Boss
Some of the more outraged ones will advise her to go to your boss to complain about it.
Next her boyfriend will get to hear about it, and will be outraged too, especially as your young friend is wearing the cloak of the injured party.
Other guys at the office will laugh at it. They will start making jokes about it, and you will sometimes see groups of guys stop laughing abruptly on catching sight of you.
Senior Management Will Get to Hear
Senior management will get to hear about it too, whether the girl reports you or not to your office boss.
If you‘re in a small town, you‘re family may get to hear about it too.
Of course it‘s totally up to you what you do. There‘s a tiny chance that you read her intentions correctly and she wants to have an affair with you, but I think that there would be many readers of this article would like to have a hundred pounds bet with you on it.
Editor‘s note:- We must point out that although Dr. McLaughlin is speaking with personal knowledge of such situations, he is not speaking from personal experience.
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